how I got scammed and lost my hypothetical cat

As the recent, partially employed college grad that I am, I am looking for work. It’s hard living at home with your parents, especially when your mother has all these expectations like grocery shopping and gardening and laundry. Don’t get me wrong, I am a capable, responsible adult. I just don’t want anyone telling me to be an adult. So, naturally, it's time to move out. 

I found a job on a freelancing site called Upwork proofreading for some sports blogger. Knowing nothing about sports, I thought to myself, no problem, Rebecca, you’ve got this. I sold it, too. I was honest, I told them I’m not a fanatic, but I find sports fascinating, and I’m a great researcher. Soon as you know it, some random person (not the guy whose blog I applied to proofread) was interviewing me over Skype! 


Upwork’s terms clearly state all interactions must happen on their platform but since I was so excited to get an interview, I was willing to disregard this red flag. Plus, their username was HarperCollins Ltd. and I was shocked! Did I just get an interview with HarperCollins? I was on fire, thinking my smart brain just landed a sick job at a major publishing house. 


The man who interviewed me introduced himself as Mr. Simon Green. I typed his name and HarperCollins into Google and a LinkedIn profile matching his name with HarperCollins and a few other past corporate jobs popped up. There was no profile picture but that didn’t faze me either. During our interview, “Mr. Green” asked all about my work experience, rate of pay, what I could add to the company, what my strengths are as a writer, etc. He told me he had to send my interview responses to the team, and offered to reimburse me for the computer programs I’d need to purchase. Even though our interview was on Skype’s instant messaging app, “Mr. Green” seemed genuinely interested in my work and the questions felt real. Besides, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. A Skype Messenger interview is hardly the strangest thing to occur this month. 


After my interview, I started to dream a little. In fact, I planned out my next 5-50 years. I was going to move to Denver, CO, and get a fluffy cat named Mr. Tibbs and have a vegetable garden with my family of sperm-donor babies. All this on a part-time, $30/hour proofreading job plus three other jobs, none of which come with healthcare. Sounds perfectly realistic. 


Then “Mr. Green” sent me the contract and my previous seeds of doubt blossomed into full trees. The contract was riddled with spelling mistakes, signed the Director of Human Resources WITH NO NAME. I showed it to my dad (because I am a baby) and he was like, “I would say no.” I decided to call them and ask a few questions. I said there was no signature or name on the contract. “Mr. Green,” said “it doesn’t need one” and I was like “okay…” I asked to talk to a superior, and he listed someone supposedly new who “wouldn’t be on the website because the website hasn’t been updated,” I told them because I couldn’t verify the validity of their identity or this contract, that I could not accept the position. Turns out, Upwork took their job posting down minutes later because it violated their Terms of Service. No surprise. 


After taking a cursory glance at HarperCollins’ website, I found no one with Mr. Simon Green’s name listed, nor did I find the Head of Human Resources “Mr. Green” listed. I also noticed that HarperCollins posts job openings directly on their site, and proofreading some sports blogger’s content was NOT one of the options. Now, I’ll be honest, I was surprised when I thought HarperCollins would be interested in blogs. Maybe it’s for LeBron James was a genuine thought that passed through the folds of my brain. In hindsight, this was RIDICULOUS. A massive publishing company like HarperCollins would NOT solicit work through a secondary website for a blog. R.I.P. Mr. Tibbs I guess. 


So, here I am, still only partially employed, questioning every choice I’ve ever made that allowed THIS to happen. My mom was like, “did you give them your Social Security number?” and I said, “no, mom, I’m not an idiot” (I am an idiot). I only gave them my address, phone number, name, and the name of my bank. Should be totally fine.

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