Contemplations, birds, + (some) dull chaos

This week I went for a walk. Maybe more than one. I know it was at least two because I took the dog for a walk and then I took the dog and the cat (ie. not Mr. Tibbs) for a walk at the same time. Contemplated the politics of filing for unemployment when I have three jobs that do not pay enough for me to live by myself, but also live with my parents and will not starve or crave a hot shower. Contemplated the size of the cat in relation to her harness. Contemplated the harness itself. Contemplated blue. 

I suppose it was at least three walks because I took my dog hiking just the other day. Fell in a puddle. Got mad about the puddle and about the dog who stopped in my path, causing me to fall in the puddle. "Stop," I told her but, of course, I meant "don't stop." Contemplated the politics of trails, of walking on trails, of enjoying these skinny clearings in bloody landscapes that make me hate my ancestors and love the osprey or the red-tailed hawk (I was never good with birds) soaring just west of the dirt I'm standing on. Emailed my Australian penpal with these many inner musings. Vowed to read more books by Indigenous folx. Found this blog as a starting point. 

Looked up bird comics and found this sad four-tile illustration. Thought Google might have been listening to me. Scrupulously combed through my Chrome settings and, for the life of me, changed nothing. 


I have a rather large painting that I haven't worked on in over a month because painting doesn't seem to be the preferred mode of expression just now. A few weeks ago I FaceTimed a friend who captured this conundrum quite perfectly. She said that some people cannot bring themselves to stick to one form. They must do it all, intermittently, inconsistently, always. I think I will study this thought for a while. Perhaps in my next puddle. 

Thought about "Dream of the Subjunctive" by Debra Nystrom at least four times. Posted (twote? tweeted?) about it on Twitter. Listened to new music sent by my best friend. Listened to every fifth song of every fifth album I bopped to last year. Wondered when curated Spotify playlists got the best of my musical curiosities. A few tunes for the meantime: 

- Are You With Me Now, Cate le Bon 
- Monte Carlo, Remi Wolf 
- Stay High, Britanny Howard 

Watched the music video for Jenny by Studio Killers (at the urging of the aforementioned friend) and discovered that Gorillaz is a virtual band. This information did not change my previous belief that I do, in fact, live under a rock. 

Enjoy the sandwich until we meet again, babes and bots. 

BLT

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